In this struggle for existence I began questioning the meaning and purpose for a life so insignificant and seemingly irrelevant in the broader spectrum of the universe. I’ve come to realize along the fine lines of existentialism that few ever go to the extent in which I have to find an answer to these mundane questions. That many people are motivated by money because it supplies them instant gratification and a reason for their survival. For someone like me who grew up in a lifestyle of poverty and yielded an identity from dust, hard work and dedication, you realize the absurdity in how much worth human beings instill upon a piece of currency.
But with all the money in the world the human tendency to fulfill his satisfaction ceases to be complete. In a materialistic view, money is their replica for spiritual restitution. Without much hesitation they use religion to fill the rest of the void they can’t seem to dismiss. I’ve always had trouble with this dualistic thinking; that this philosophy breaks the law of Occam’s Razor.
Growing up as a child and being taught what to think of as knowledge and factual, you begin to fall under complete hypnosis that perhaps there is something beyond the physical such as magic, miracles, ghosts, demons, fairies and unicorns. It all became unsettling and I began to feel nostalgic, longing for something more; a more complete definition to how the world works. It was around the time I hit a deep and dark state of depression where suicide became an option, when I finally questioned my family traditions and my national culture. This moment sparked a fury of inquisitive thoughts that saved me from a premature doom, but most importantly, it revealed bits of insight as to what a life of happiness might be.
I immediately lashed out at God. But realized a few years later that it wasn’t God I had a grudge with. I began to target religious teachings and their flawed method of bringing up children who were in the same boat as I was. To some extent, religion made bad decisions, but for the most part I soon understood that the mistakes were much more human than theoretical. And till this day, the bad decisions and the unconventional thinking of man has given me something to work on.
God was never necessary. But religion was - in order to develop an ordered culture out of chaos. But as the intelligence of man climbed to new heights, our need for satisfying that of which we have no solution for settles upon God and religion as the savior. What many do not realize is that we’ve contaminated ourselves in this new age with money being the forerunner of the equation, and an addition of doctrines that claim ethical grounds will produce a meaningful life.
I think it’s time we move on and grow out of promoting capitalism and religious factions. My equation for a life of meaning and purpose involves experiencing what it means to exist in this universe. It was never an object or an entity that created a path to happiness; instead, it had always been the voyage itself that fulfilled each step of the void.
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