The crescendos of lifting melodies, the sweeping sorrow of sonatas. I want to listen and love all of what life has to offer. No one can make me feel the chaos I made for myself. No one can make me feel the love that she gave me. I feel so, balanced.

I felt so restless. So uncentered even when we broke up because there was always this consciousness that told me, "She still wants to be with you." And I thought, "Well, I can't just LEAVE her."

No, because that would be cruel for some reason.


I thought I didn't have to feel tipped over to the darkness that knew me as I knew the dark. I thought I deserved to be happy, but I don't! I burned my path from her. I did not deserve her. And I didn't deserve to feel happy sentiments.

Some people were born from fire, and some people create fires.